“3 2 1 ready or not here I come.” It was Alice she was playing spotlight with Ruben, Clordia and I. I was hiding behind the mattress in a ball I was sweating like pouring water. I see a light. “FOUND YOU RUBEN,” said Alice. I feel cold. I know where Clordia was she was in my sisters room behind the door and as soon as I said cor car like an owl Alice found Clordia. “I WIN” I yelled at the top of my voice and released myself from the mattress. “I was looking for you” said Alice.
The End
By mark
Age 9
Well done, Mark. You've worked on this and now it more sense. Next time I put a comment on your draft, please actually read it and make a change without me having to follow you up. I really like this piece.
ReplyDeletehi mark
ReplyDeleteGreat writing its really exciting
to be btb plz check spelling
thanks:)
Mark I like the way you used nouns to tell me who you were playing with. To be BTB use similes.
ReplyDelete