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Thursday 7 July 2016

Unwanted visitors

I’m wide wake my heart is pounding like I have just watched a horror film I don't know who it is but there is a knocking sound on the door. I’m not sure if this is a dream but I think I’m awake. Why would someone knock on my door at the middle of the night? BANG BANG BANG the door is opening and in comes a guy with green eyes that glow in the dark. and he is also holding a knife like he was a murder “you can no hide from Zass” says the murder. “I know you are under your blankets”.
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2 comments:

  1. Jemma26 July 2016 at 12:36

    Hi Mark.
    I really liked your onomatopoeias it made it exciting!
    I think you could improve by using similes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Max5 September 2016 at 12:16

    Hi, Mark

    Your story was awesome it had cool onomatopoeia.





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